#FunkeVsRoadMarshal
Season 1 Episode 2
He asked again, "when are you going for lunch?" I pretended I didn't hear him, I went on and on about the car, "Sir, the car has 8 airbags, ABS, it comes fitted with Bose speakers and premium leather seats"!
He was quiet so I swung round to see what he was doing, and this guy was right behind me.....
Before I go further, lemme introduce u to my 2 alter egos.... They are the voices in my head and they can fight ehn!!!
The first one is the feisty vivacious one, happy go lucky girl who is very very stubborn, we shall call her Red Wine, the other one is docile, gentle and always doing good.... we shall call her White wine... or simply "Red & White for short.
I swing round and this guy is just inches away from me. the voice in my head "Red" says "Oooooh he cute Funke, he's wearing Thierry Mugler angel ou demon.... this one is definitely a Demon!!!! A Yoruba Demon! Immediately my docile alter ego "White' steps in and says "Behave urself Funke"!
I step back... "Errm can we go sit down now?" He says OK.
Phew! Which kain wahala be dis...
He then tells me that he is out to shop for his status car and also to look around for the cheapest prices of pick ups... their zonal office wants 30 pickups...
30!!! For real? This guy for talk am since naa, Na me for buy am lunch sef. I sit up in my chair and i'm like... "how soon will they be buying?" He says "march ending! Issokay, I have only 2 months to keep being nice, then I chase him away...
He then asks me again... " May i take u out to lunch ma'am?" I told him immediately ... I'm not hungry, He said ok, I will just wait here till u are hungry then!!
Aaaargh! "I said Ok OK we go for lunch... Any thing to make him just go...
I got up and went upstairs to pick my handbag. As I closed the showroom door behind me, I climbed the stairs 2 steps at a time, I have a treadmill at home o... I don't think i have used it for like 10mins straight sef, in fact it is now a clothes hanger... SMH!
I breeze through 2 flight of stairs in like 1 minute and am by my office door panting like a leopard.... Out walks my boss..... and he goes
Boss: Oiiii, Oiiii where are u off to? ( He's Indian )
Me: I'm off to lunch with a client.
Boss: u mean that man that has been flirting with u in the showroom?
Me: Looking startled... I dunno watchu talking bout boss
Boss: Laughs and asks what vehicle he wants and how many they are looking at?
Me: he says they a want 30 pickups
Boss: eyes wide opened... well what are u waiting for.. go and seal that deal!
I grab my make up bag, apply a fresh coat of MAC Rubywoo lipstick that i bought from my cuz and glam fairy Yetunde you guys should totally check her store out www.glambeautyjay.com or @glambeautyjay and @glambeautyjayus for USA customers, a dab of powder, then i spray perfume in the air and walk through it... Don't want him to think that i just applied fresh perfume...
I dash down the stairs , adjust my hair and then walk into the showroom looking uninterested.
He didn't notice me come into the showroom, he was reading the newspaper cross legged... Omo see the back of him leg.... very neat, well pedicured toenails, no chapped feet at all... chai... Yoruba demons can dress ehn!!!
I told him I was ready to go, he looked up and smiled, Chaii see dentition oooo....
We got outside and he asked, 'your car or mine' I was like MINE.... and he said "No ma'am, you are riding in mine.. There's no way I'm gonna let you drive without a driver's licence!!! !
What a CROCK!! My sins are finally biting me in d butt!!
He takes 2 strides and he gets to his car, unlocks it and opens d door for me..
"Ehen ogajuuu yoruba demons oooo!"
I get in and gingerly sit in the passenger seat...He puts the car in reverse and drives out of the parking lot, he asks if i like music... I said yes, he turns on the radio and you won't guess which music comes on....
Shinehead... IF U TRY MY LOVE.....
Jisos, looks like its gonna be a looooong Lunch break....
He looks at me as we drive away, he smiles.... Chai see teeth ooo!
#ToBeContinued
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